Sometimes things can happen in your life that make you feel that innocence was stolen from your youth. It doesn't always have to be sexual abuse that causes this old pain - sometimes it is seeing something or hearing something you were too young to handle.
While innocence can never be returned in a certain area of your personal development, God is yet a healer and a restorer of stolen things. But you have to see Him in that vein. You have to want God to be the restorer of every breach in your life. And He will be just that.
If you feel that innocence has been stolen and you are stuck in an adult memory that causes you to feel that you were bent in the wrong direction, why not try giving that private pain to Jesus? The world celebrates the victory that comes from people who are underdogs but who survive what should have destroyed them. Jesus wants you to have more than that. He wants you to have a victory that overcomes the world - and become a conqueror in Him. Let me leave you with this final assurance - you don't have to live with the painful sense of lost innocence - God wants to heal every void in your heart and in your memory!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Little By Little
The Bible says that when the Israelites were finally able to enter the Promised Land, God did not destroy all of the beasts in the land all at once. The scripture says they were dealt with "little by little." Why? Because had they all been destroyed at once, it would have changed a critical balance in the ecosystem. What is food for one animal, is protection for another.
Consider the spiritual perspective in this. Whether you want to admit it or not, your enemies most often than not serve an important service in your life. If they were to be removed all at once, it would hamper your maturity and your growth as an individual. God deals with our enemies little by little so that our faith is strengthened, we mature in terms of forgiveness and the expression of anger, and we learn to depend less on ourselves and more on the Lord for guidance and direction.
Finally, the presence of enemies in our lives keep us balanced. As long as you can stay small in your own eyes, God is magnified and given the glory He deserves for the blessings of peace, prosperity, and that things are as well as they are.
Consider the spiritual perspective in this. Whether you want to admit it or not, your enemies most often than not serve an important service in your life. If they were to be removed all at once, it would hamper your maturity and your growth as an individual. God deals with our enemies little by little so that our faith is strengthened, we mature in terms of forgiveness and the expression of anger, and we learn to depend less on ourselves and more on the Lord for guidance and direction.
Finally, the presence of enemies in our lives keep us balanced. As long as you can stay small in your own eyes, God is magnified and given the glory He deserves for the blessings of peace, prosperity, and that things are as well as they are.
Friday, July 13, 2012
How You Feel Is Not Who You Are
The Bible records that when Naomi returns to her homeland with Ruth after the death of her husband and two sons, she meets a group of women who remember her. When they greet her, in frustration and depression, she tells them not to call her Naomi (which means "Pleasant)," but to call her Mara (which means "Bitter").
In other words, she changed her name based on how she felt and what she had been through. Wrong move. How you feel is not who you are, and you should never define yourself based on what you have been through. Why? Because everything is in motion. Nothing stays the same. Where you are right now, is not where you will always be - especially if you want out. We women do it all of the time. We are very emotional beings, and we tend to be super-dramatic in the way we describe how we feel. Wrong move. Why? Because the power of life and death is in the tongue. Words have life.
From now on, don't confess how you feel - confess what God's Word says about your cirumstances. How you feel is not why you are. As a matter of fact, you should be vary wary of using your emotions as a guidepost - period!!
In other words, she changed her name based on how she felt and what she had been through. Wrong move. How you feel is not who you are, and you should never define yourself based on what you have been through. Why? Because everything is in motion. Nothing stays the same. Where you are right now, is not where you will always be - especially if you want out. We women do it all of the time. We are very emotional beings, and we tend to be super-dramatic in the way we describe how we feel. Wrong move. Why? Because the power of life and death is in the tongue. Words have life.
From now on, don't confess how you feel - confess what God's Word says about your cirumstances. How you feel is not why you are. As a matter of fact, you should be vary wary of using your emotions as a guidepost - period!!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
All Grown Up And Still Hurting
When I minister or counsel, whatever the case may be, I am always struck by the depth of pain adults still experience with respect to painful memories from their childhood. Usually, those memories involve their parents, their siblings, and sometimes pain associated with incidents from friendships. To get them unstuck is quite a challenge.
Part of the difficulty is getting adults to take ownership of their pain. We tell ourselves all of the time that we should be over certain things by now (meaning, adulthood). Hence, we not only deny the fact that we are still hurting, but we don't give ourselves permission to even face them to deal with them head-on. You can't get healed from something that you deny even exists. Getting adults to this first step, however, is crucial to healing.
Your second step is to embrace the anger, the disappointment, and even the hatred. Again, however, since at a certain level as adults we believe that it is not okay to feel hatred for a parent who abused us, it is therefore not okay to admit that the hatred is still there festering and growing, and defiling the heart.
If you are reading this and you know that the grave clothes you are wearing have everything to do with unresolved emotions from a parent who abused you, you have no room or space in your spirit to forgive, until you first embrace the anger and even the hatred. Look at it for what it is, feel it, embrace it, and allow yourself the time to grieve and feel the rage and injustice of what has happened. Once you do that - at a level of vulnerability and ownership - you can then move on to the next stage of release and peace.
Part of the difficulty is getting adults to take ownership of their pain. We tell ourselves all of the time that we should be over certain things by now (meaning, adulthood). Hence, we not only deny the fact that we are still hurting, but we don't give ourselves permission to even face them to deal with them head-on. You can't get healed from something that you deny even exists. Getting adults to this first step, however, is crucial to healing.
Your second step is to embrace the anger, the disappointment, and even the hatred. Again, however, since at a certain level as adults we believe that it is not okay to feel hatred for a parent who abused us, it is therefore not okay to admit that the hatred is still there festering and growing, and defiling the heart.
If you are reading this and you know that the grave clothes you are wearing have everything to do with unresolved emotions from a parent who abused you, you have no room or space in your spirit to forgive, until you first embrace the anger and even the hatred. Look at it for what it is, feel it, embrace it, and allow yourself the time to grieve and feel the rage and injustice of what has happened. Once you do that - at a level of vulnerability and ownership - you can then move on to the next stage of release and peace.
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